| Being diagnosed with cancer is devastating, there's | | | | your fears, or whether you need to go |
| nothing like the impact of those three little words, | | | | somewhere else to talk with someone who's less |
| "you have cancer." I know this only too well as a | | | | involved and removed a degree or two. |
| 10-year survivor and as someone whose Mom, | | | | 4. Don't feel bad if you're not up to being the |
| Dad, Aunts and Grandpa have battled with the | | | | patient's sounding board. It's not uncommon for |
| disease. | | | | patients' families and loved ones to be triggered |
| At the time of my diagnosis I was shell shocked, | | | | by the cancer diagnosis and consequently |
| as most of us are. I was even more confused by | | | | emotionally unavailable to help. If you can't provide |
| the variety of treatment choices offered me. | | | | the support needed, get the name of a therapist |
| Decisions about a lumpectomy or mastectomy, a | | | | who can and refer your loved one to her. |
| TRAM flap or silicone or saline implants were all | | | | 5. If you feel like you can handle discussing their |
| part of this challenging time. | | | | treatment options, ask if they would like help with |
| While I'm a big proponent of having choice, after | | | | the decision-making process. Alternatively, ask |
| all, it is our body, it was one of the few times in | | | | what other information they need and if you can |
| my life where I would have loved to have passed | | | | get it for them. |
| off the decisions to someone else. But that wasn't | | | | 6. If they are open to it and you're available |
| an option and so I made my own decision, after | | | | emotionally, review the pros and cons of the |
| lots of reading and interviewing. | | | | treatments being considered. Treatments are like |
| While no one had an issue with my choices, this | | | | medication, they have pros and cons, and side |
| isn't always the case. I had a friend who chose | | | | effects. |
| alternative cancer treatments, to many of her | | | | 7. Trust their judgment. The patient is a better |
| friends dismay. My own Mom, after two brutual | | | | expert on their body and on themselves than |
| rounds of chemotherapy announced that she was | | | | others will ever be. Although you might not |
| done regardless of what her oncologist said. Her | | | | understand their reasoning, remember the old |
| decision was incredibly upsetting to me, but as | | | | saying about not being able to judge someone |
| someone who had just gone through her own | | | | until you walk a mile in their shoes. |
| cancer journey, I felt strongly that the decision | | | | 8. Know that there's power in having a patient |
| around her cancer treatment was hers to make. | | | | choose their treatment. Studies on placebos |
| In situations like these, what are the steps you | | | | prove that by choosing a treatment, the efficacy |
| should take to help the cancer patient through | | | | of the treatment increases in the patient's mind, |
| their treatment journey? The following nine tips | | | | which is the place where all true healing really |
| will help you navigate this challenging time. | | | | begins. |
| 1. Realize that it's not your treatment decision, no | | | | 9. Whatever their choice, support them to the |
| matter how invested you may be. The | | | | max. Your opposing their choices will undermine |
| responsibility for their cancer treatment is theirs | | | | their chances of recovery by instilling doubts or |
| and only theirs to make. | | | | fears about their plan of attack. |
| 2. Be open to expressing but not determined to | | | | Letting the patient decide how much input you |
| have your opinion heard. It's the cancer patient's | | | | have into their cancer treatment is a supreme act |
| right to ask you for your opinion if they want it, | | | | of love, and often challenging to do. But by doing |
| not your right to offer unsolicited advice. | | | | so you acknowledge their competence and a true |
| Remember how you feel when people give you | | | | understanding that these decisions are the cancer |
| unsolicited advice when you don't ask for it. | | | | survivor's to make. And some day others might |
| 3. Acknowledge your own fears. It's hard to be | | | | do the same for you when you're facing a major |
| impartial if you're fearful yourself. Determine | | | | decision. |
| whether the cancer patient is open to hearing | | | | |