| It's as important to know what not to say to | | | | we can to try to get you healthy again" .... and |
| cancer patients as well as what to say! They're | | | | mean it! |
| dealing with a lot of emotion and need to stay | | | | 6. Don't just focus on the cancer when you talk |
| focused on their recovery and their health. Here | | | | to them. Remember, they are still more than just |
| are some tips to help you and your family stay | | | | their cancer....and they may very well want or |
| on track: | | | | need a break from talking about it! |
| 1. Don't tell them you know how they feel, | | | | 7. Never say anything that is not a fact. For |
| because you don't. That's true for any situation | | | | example, never say "I know you are going to get |
| really. We all process experiences differently, and | | | | well." You can't possibly know that and the patient |
| each cancer case is different -- we need to | | | | realizes it. Therefore, anything else you say after |
| realize and remember that. | | | | that will be ignored. However, it is certainly |
| 2. Don't ask them when they'll be cured or what | | | | possible to state the same comment in a positive |
| their chances are. No one knows this for sure and | | | | way. "It's very serious, but we're going to do |
| they need to stay focused on their own health | | | | everything in our power to beat it" is an example. |
| and recovery, not statistics that they have no | | | | Just tell the truth as you know it today. |
| control over. | | | | 8. Don't offer any theories on why they got |
| 3. Don't say that someone else you know had the | | | | cancer. No one knows for sure, and it certainly |
| same type of cancer. Every situation is different, | | | | doesn't help anything at this point. Just help them |
| and it just distances you from what they are | | | | to move forward. |
| going through. | | | | 9. Don't be judgmental. The treatment decisions |
| 4. Don't encourage them to feel a certain way. | | | | are ultimately up to them, even if you don't agree |
| Their moods will swing, and you need to just | | | | with them. It's hard to be so involved and not |
| respect where they are. When someone says "be | | | | have the final word, but the sooner you realize |
| positive" they're not listening to where the other | | | | that, the easier it will be for everyone. They're |
| person is coming from. | | | | the ones that need to live with their own |
| 5. Don't offer your sympathy....that's not what | | | | decisions. |
| they need. They need your help, love, and | | | | 10. Don't forget to laugh! This will always help |
| support. Don't say, "It is so terrible" or "It's such a | | | | make everyone feel better! |
| shame." Do say, "We're going to do everything | | | | |