Can Love Make You Sick?

Most of us tend to know that relationships takethe one getting bossed around) have more
work but a large body of research now showscoronary artery disease than those in egalitarian
that romantic partners have more influence onmarriages. Both situations likely activate stress
our health than anyone else and that they play aresponses, which are known to contribute to, if
large part in our physical and emotional well-being.not cause, an array of ailments.marital conflict and
Since we tend to choose partners who are verystrain are associated with heart disease and
like ourselves, many of our habits tend to be themortality risk. For example, women who
same-both good and bad. And as the relationship"self-silence" during arguments with their spouses
grows, our habits grow even more alike.are four times more likely to die over a 10-year
Researchers have found that spouses influenceperiod than their peers who express themselves.
each others' exercise habits, doctor visits, and useThese women (23 percent of the wives studied!)
of alcohol, cigarettes, and marijuana.may be bottling up anger out of fear of the
Many people even develop the same afflictionshusband's reaction.time.
over time-a condition in one spouse often placesSleep patterns also affect our health, so if you
the other at increased risk for the same disorder.are living with an insomniac you might tend to to
This may be true for cancer, stroke, arthritis,sleep less as well. "Sleep problems can screw up a
hypertension , asthma, depression, and pepticperson's physical and psychological well-being even
ulcer disease. One study shows that a person'smore than eating and exercise," says Barry
hypertension risk doubles when their spouse isMcCarthy, a couples therapist and a psychology
diagnosed as hypertensive. Some of the reasonsprofessor at American University in Washington,
for this are that couples tend to eat the sameD.C.
food, exercise together, and take on each othersAnd while couples who thrive or suffer together
stress patterns. "Individuals don't live in a vacuum,"grow closer, those who experience a divergence
says Gregory Homish, an epidemiologist at thein health might fall apart. Health-mismatched pairs
State University of New York at Buffalo,are more likely to get divorced than couples
"Everyone who's in a relationship should be awarewhose health is similar, whether good or bad. The
that they're making some physically relevantrisk of divorce is greatest for those who were
decisions based on their partner's influence," hehappiest before the disparity emerged. That's
says. Here are some ways that our partnerswhy it's so important to make health a
affect our health:togetherness issue. We can't leave our partner
A study of Korean women found significantlybehind if we suddenly get healthy and we can't fall
higher risks of lung cancer and breast cancerbehind if our partners decide to pursue health.
among those whose husbands smoked, mostBuilding health and exercise into the relationship is
likely from the effects of secondhanda good way to become closer and healthier at the
smoke.wives of men with heart disease are moresame time. Taking classes together or picking up
likely than other women to have cardiac riska sport or hobby that neither of you has tried
factors.before, taking a healthy cooking class, or even
Women in marriages full of hostility have morewalking the neighborhood together instead of
coronary artery disease than those in warmerwatching tv at night are all ways to ensure that
relationships, while men in more controllinglove doesn't make you sick.
relationships (whether they are the dominator or