| Picture this scene: You re-arrange your work | | | | others are blessed. |
| schedule to attend a partyin your child's | | | | You might enjoy counting your blessings in a |
| classroom. You happily hug your child hello as | | | | "gratitude journal," orreview the best parts of |
| youarrive. Then you notice a table filled with | | | | your day as you fall asleep. You might evencount |
| adorable ceramic Dalmations,beribboned and | | | | your blessings before you get out of bed in the |
| hand-painted for each child in the class by one | | | | morning. |
| child'sstay-at-home mother. | | | | Give it a try. How many blessings can you call to |
| Now try another: Your alumni magazine features | | | | mind in the next 60seconds? |
| the stunningprofessional accomplishments of a | | | | The next three strategies can help in the moment |
| former classmate. Unlike you, shehas not let | | | | when you have a |
| motherhood slow down her professional | | | | "comparison emergency." |
| advancement onebit. Her children, smiling beside | | | | 3. EXHALE. |
| her in the magazine photo, seem to beturning out | | | | When you notice that you're comparing yourself |
| fine. | | | | to someone else, bringyour attention to your |
| If you're not prepared, either scene could drag | | | | breathing. Then, on an exhale, let the |
| you into "the comparisontrap." Maybe you've been | | | | comparisonleave your body with your breath. It's |
| there -- times when you measured | | | | amazing how a well-timed exhalecan create space |
| yourselfagainst others, with uncomfortable results. | | | | for serenity and perspective. |
| It's a no-win. | | | | Once you've blown the comparison away, you |
| Comparisons are a greased slope into a pit of | | | | might ask yourself, "Is thiswhere I want to put |
| guilt, envy, anger orfeelings of inferiority and | | | | my energy today?" |
| intimidation. | | | | 4. RECOGNIZE LOSSES. |
| More fundamentally, comparisons fail to honor the | | | | Other people's accomplishments may remind you |
| uniqueness of eachperson's path in life. Just think | | | | of goals you have setaside. Maybe you've |
| of all that's unique about you and thepath you've | | | | deferred or even given up hopes and dreams |
| walked! The universe -- or your higher power, if | | | | fromearlier, simpler times in your life. |
| you haveone -- never asks you to be anybody | | | | Be kind to yourself, and take time to |
| but you. | | | | acknowledge these losses. Createa ritual or find |
| Fortunately, you can break free of comparisons. | | | | some other way to give voice to your grief so |
| Here are five simplestrategies you can start using | | | | that you canmove forward in healing. |
| today: | | | | 5. SHIFT INTO A PERSPECTIVE OF GRATITUDE. |
| 1. GIVE YOURSELF MORE CREDIT. | | | | Take a couple deep cleansing breaths, letting any |
| This strategy is preventive. Look inside, and give | | | | tension in your bodyleave on the outbreath. Now, |
| yourself credit for youraccomplishments and | | | | see if you can shift into a perspective ofgratitude. |
| positive character traits. You might even mark | | | | Practice this strategy by bringing to mind a |
| inyour calendar reminders to pause and recognize | | | | "comparison trigger" from thepast -- maybe your |
| the heart, intelligence,imagination and integrity you | | | | ex-significant-other's new girlfriend, or the |
| bring to living life your way. | | | | obnoxiousalpha-parent you met on the preschool |
| Start now: What can you give yourself credit for | | | | playground. Notice howrelaxing and healing the |
| today? | | | | perspective of gratitude feels. |
| 2. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. | | | | YOU, YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR CAREER ARE |
| This is another preventive tactic to build your | | | | UNIQUE. As youlovingly attend more and more to |
| comparison "immunity." | | | | your own life and values, you canleave the |
| Cultivating an awareness of all the blessings of | | | | comparison trap far behind. |
| your life can take thesting out of seeing how | | | | |