| s in a first grade classroom were arguing loudly | | | | talk it out next time. |
| over an item they both wanted to use at the | | | | A teaching perspective has room for punishment |
| same time. | | | | in some cases, but the focus is on helping kids |
| Their teacher approached them in a friendly way | | | | learn the skills they need to behave appropriately. |
| and said, Boys, it sounds like you two are | | | | If we view inappropriate behavior as a learning |
| having a problem. Let’s talk it out. | | | | opportunity for the child, new options open up. |
| One of the boys told his side of the story, his | | | | HERE ARE TEN CHOICES FOR MAKING THE |
| face still tense but his voice lowered to an | | | | MOST OF A TEACHABLE MOMENT: |
| indoor volume. The second boy listened | | | | 1. Redirect the child toward a more appropriate |
| and then, without any prompting, came up with a | | | | activity. |
| solution to which the first boy readily agreed. | | | | 2. Inform the child that what they’re doing |
| Great job! the teacher beamed. See? | | | | isn’t a good idea or isn’t |
| You can talk it out! | | | | safe. |
| A TEACHING PERSPECTIVE CAN PRODUCE | | | | 3. Give a friendly reminder about the rule the child |
| AMAZING RESULTS WHEN KIDS BEHAVE | | | | needs to be following. |
| INAPPROPRIATELY. | | | | 4. Guide the child through the steps of apologizing. |
| If we as parents approach unwanted behavior | | | | 5. Ask the child to consider how others feel when |
| with the idea that our job is to be the judge/jury | | | | she engages in the inappropriate behavior. |
| jailer, our first impulse may be to punish. | | | | 6. Help the child make amends to anyone |
| But punishment doesn’t teach kids what | | | | negatively affected by the inappropriate behavior. |
| they SHOULD be doing. It doesn’t expand | | | | Ask, What can we do to help (name of |
| kids’ problem-solving skills, teach them how | | | | person) feel better now? |
| to repair social mistakes, or improve their social | | | | 7. In the case of a conflict, prompt the children to |
| perception. | | | | talk it out, providing assistance as needed. |
| Fortunately, punishment isn’t the only | | | | 8. Give a new rule, if the situation wasn’t |
| available tool. | | | | covered by the rules the child has already been |
| WE CAN CHOOSE TO VIEW THE | | | | taught. |
| INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR AS A | | | | 9. Invite the child to think of a better to way to |
| TEACHABLE MOMENT. | | | | ask for what they want or need in the situation. |
| When the teacher in the story above heard the | | | | 10. Teach the child appropriate words/behaviors |
| two boys arguing, she spotted a chance to teach | | | | to replace the inappropriate ones. |
| better social problem-solving. | | | | The rules of appropriate social behavior take a |
| Inviting the boys to talk it out reminded | | | | long time to learn and an even longer time to |
| them of their capacity to problem-solve without | | | | internalize as habits. Even adults don’t do it |
| shouting or arguing. They saw that talking it | | | | perfectly! |
| out could work, and they were more likely to | | | | |